Monday, December 26, 2005

This time of year I get a lot of solicitations for donations. Why is no one soliciting donations to free eight tiny reindeer forced to pull an obese man in sled crammed with consumer goods for an entire night with no food, no water and no rest except for very brief stops on rooftops?

Saturday, December 24, 2005

I found myself using the expression "More (noun) than you can shake a stick at". Why would anyone want to shake a stick at something?

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Why do people rush out to buy snow shovels before every snowstorm? What happened to the snow shovels they purchased prior to previous snowstorms?

Sunday, December 11, 2005

I saw a great bumper sticker today:

It's called Tourist Season, why can't we shoot 'em?

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Why is it that despite the fact that I vacuum my house regularly, I still find needles from the Christmas tree until the following July?

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Why are they called flea markets? Do they sell fleas there? Who buys them?