Monday, December 27, 2010

After the big blizzard, all of the main highways were plowed but none of the exits had been plowed.

Why bother plowing a road if drivers can't get on it or off of it?

Thursday, November 04, 2010

The vet wants to do a urine test on my cat.

How do you get a cat to pee in a cup?

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

I saw a guy at the gym today lifting weights with one hand and talking on his cellphone with the other.  I couldn't help wondering what was so incredibly important that it couldn't wait until after his workout.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Sign on a local pet store:


Is it just me or is that deeply disturbing?

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

I work out at a gym three times a week. 

So why is it that I always try to park as close to the store as possible even if it means squeezing into spaces so tight that I can barely get my car door open?

Thursday, August 05, 2010

Sign on a truck:


As opposed to unreliable tires?

Friday, July 23, 2010

Sign at a local nursery:


In what?

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Subject line on an email:  Keep Cool with Frozen Hot Chocolate.

How can it be frozen and hot at the same time?

Friday, June 25, 2010

I bought a package of Hebrew National hot dogs.  It has 7 hot dogs in it.  Are odd numbers part of Kosher cuisine?

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

I saw a woman on a bike pulling into a yard sale.  How did she think she was going to carry her purchases home?

Thursday, May 13, 2010

There's a woman at the gym who wears a sports bra over a regular bra.  Kinda like wearing a belt and suspenders.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

I was watching an eagle cam today and a popup ad appeared suggesting I search for "used eagle".

What's a "used eagle" and why would I want to search for one?

Thursday, April 08, 2010

Why is it called a greenhouse if it's not green?

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Cats always land on feet, toast lands butter side down. What if you strap buttered toast to a cat?

Friday, February 26, 2010

I'm reading a cookbook from 1896.

Recipe:  Turtlehead Soup

First Ingredient:  1 Calf's Head


Friday, February 19, 2010

I don't understand the controversy surrounding Tiger Woods' apology.  He is obviously in a 12-step program and this is the step where he has to make amends to all the people he has hurt.

Which is basically everybody.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

What's wrong with this picture?

Today is Ladies Day at the car wash, $2 off.  Ten customers in line.  Nine men and me.