After the big blizzard, all of the main highways were plowed but none of the exits had been plowed.
Why bother plowing a road if drivers can't get on it or off of it?
The vet wants to do a urine test on my cat.
How do you get a cat to pee in a cup?
I saw a guy at the gym today lifting weights with one hand and talking on his cellphone with the other. I couldn't help wondering what was so incredibly important that it couldn't wait until after his workout.
Sign on a local pet store:
LIVE BAIT!
Is it just me or is that deeply disturbing?
I work out at a gym three times a week.
So why is it that I always try to park as close to the store as possible even if it means squeezing into spaces so tight that I can barely get my car door open?
Sign on a truck:
RELIABLE TIRE CO.
As opposed to unreliable tires?
Sign at a local nursery:
FRUIT TREES ARE IN
In what?
Subject line on an email: Keep Cool with Frozen Hot Chocolate.
How can it be frozen and hot at the same time?
I bought a package of Hebrew National hot dogs. It has 7 hot dogs in it. Are odd numbers part of Kosher cuisine?
I saw a woman on a bike pulling into a yard sale. How did she think she was going to carry her purchases home?
There's a woman at the gym who wears a sports bra over a regular bra. Kinda like wearing a belt and suspenders.
I was watching an eagle cam today and a popup ad appeared suggesting I search for "used eagle".
What's a "used eagle" and why would I want to search for one?
Why is it called a greenhouse if it's not green?
Cats always land on feet, toast lands butter side down. What if you strap buttered toast to a cat?
I'm reading a cookbook from 1896.
Recipe: Turtlehead Soup
First Ingredient: 1 Calf's Head
Huh?
I don't understand the controversy surrounding Tiger Woods' apology. He is obviously in a 12-step program and this is the step where he has to make amends to all the people he has hurt.
Which is basically everybody.
What's wrong with this picture?
Today is Ladies Day at the car wash, $2 off. Ten customers in line. Nine men and me.
